Cold
by livebyinsanity
Summary: "The world is a cold place to call a home." A very depressed Leah throws herself off a cliff. How will Sam react? Two shot. Complete.
1. Leah

**Cold **

**A Leah/ Sam Twilight fanfiction**

**Angst/Tragedy**

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**Leah**

People say that I'm a cold hearted bitch.

They're wrong.

No, I'm just a broken hearted bitch.

I'm here standing upon the cliffs of La Push because I have no more reasons to live. I've got nothing to fight for; I've taken more than my fair share of heartbreak. I don't want to survive like this – a shadow of the past. Some people pity me, but no more than I pity myself. And I can't take this pity anymore. This sense of helplessness, this state of inaction; it isn't me.

There was a time, a long time ago when my life was perfect. I had a handsome date, Sam Uley and I had a good couple of friends both in and out of school. That's when things got crap. Sam, he _disappeared _for around two weeks. There were rumours, that Sam was skipping the country or maybe he was dealing drugs. By the time Sam returned, I was worried insane. We had tried to keep our relationship in tact – but I knew there was something he wasn't telling me. Something big. So I worried.

I wanted change and I wanted another girl to talk to so I invited my second cousin, Emily down from the Makah Reservation. That's when my life became an absolute hellhole. Sam and I were _intense_ – we were almost engaged! But when he first set his eyes on Emily, it was as though I never even existed. That it wasn't _wrong _they were making gooey eyes at one another.

Next morning, Sam told me it was over.

The morning after, I tried to hang myself. I failed.

The morning after that, I stopped talking.

And have barely said a word since.

Okay, I will confess that's inaccurate. I have said _spoken _but I haven't actually _talked _to anybody. People, they just don't understand. They pretend to care, pretend to listen but the moment they realise my problems are more intense than the average teenage drama – they run away. Leaving me even more alone.

I'm alone right now. There's no one to hear my thoughts right now except the white frothy water that rumbles against the rocks. I used to like spending time here – because I could just escape into all the noise and forget about all my issues. I used to feel weightless. I used to feel free.

I don't feel free right now – even if freedom is so close.

I can see the greenery of the big leaves and treetops around me. They take me back to another place – a simpler place where one plus one equals two. No dramas, no icky consequences. A beautiful world where I could cuddle into Sam's side, listening as he made up stories of the trees and flowers; the same world where nothing could bother us. The world where we were together, forever.

Oh, the irony!

Sam once told me that I was and would always be his only love. He promised to never harm me – and to be always there when I needed him. Sam vowed to make me happy – no matter what.

He lied.

I'm not happy.

And every time I see him, he seems to have Emily perched onto his arm. He looks at me sometimes but his eyes are full of the same pity.

My life's spinning haywire. It's completely out of sync. I've tried so many times to get myself back together but I'm like a jigsaw puzzle that's got a piece missing. No matter how well I arrange the pieces, I'll always have a hole. And that hole is my point of reason. My Sam.

Except he's not mine anymore.

The world is a cold place to call a home.

I have no reasons to live.

But I have a million to die.

I have nothing to stop me jumping off this cliff.

But I don't think I'll find even a tiny fragment of peace if I don't.

I can see myself flying down towards the rock – the trees and image of all the houses blur into different colours as I pirouette downwards. I can see myself – careless and carefree for the first time in years. I can imagine myself _happy. _I might be actually able to smile.

I will be _content. _I will be out of the _hellhole _my life as become.

The end to everything. It's just _so _close.

So, I jump.

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Please review! :) The second chapter should be posted in a few days time.


	2. Sam

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**Sam**

I like the beaches of La Push in the early mornings. They are so nice to walk on and I love the feeling of the soft crumbling sand beneath my feet. I like seeing the sky – the strange orange and blue colours look so unreal that I feel like I can forget about all my worries. When I lie down, with my arms and legs outstretched, I can feel like all my pain is just fading away –seeping back to nature, as though it was never worth paying any thought to. When I close my eyes, I let my fingers swirl in the grainy sand – the patterns relaxing all the tension form my body.

Sometimes, I feel like I'm on a drifting cloud.

Right now I _wish _I am floating on a drifting cloud.

Being up in the sky, hundreds of kilometres away, it sounds like paradise. Anything to escape the guilt I am to feel.

I hate the fact that I'm a bloody werewolf. And I hate the fact that there a whole bunch of bloodsucking leeches down the road – and I can't stop phasing yet because of those _people. _I hate the fact that the whole tribe (or those who now about what I am anyway) seem to consider me a somewhat _god. _I'm not a god. I'm not even what haunts me the most is...Leah.

I love Emily; I proposed to her last week and Em said yes. I feel _complete _with Emily but I can't forget the other person I felt this way with.

Leah.

Quileute territory is a small reservation so it's not surprising that I run into her every now and then. But every time I do, and happen to catch her eye, I see the pain and accusation. I see the betrayal and the devastation. I still hear her sharp voice when I told her that our relationship was _over._

"You promised you would never _ever _hurt me." She had said, salty tears flowing down her face. "You broke your promise."

I couldn't deny the truth in her words. I could only pull up a smile, as if one half-attempted smile could fix the problems between us. It is true. I had simply walked away to leave Leah heartbroken. When I imprinted on Emily, I knew that I had to give up Leah.

Oh the irony! Then, I nearly _killed _Em when I lost control of my temper! I nearly _killed _her. She has scars now. I made them. But it's the werewolf's fault. The vampires are to blame. Right? Only I know that this is a lie. It's my fault and I hate myself.

I sigh. There is nobody around me to disturb me. Even if there are only three wolves right now: Paul, Jared and I, the mental cacophony is huge. Sometimes I don't even know what _I'm _thinking let alone what _they're _thinking. It's enough to get a headache.

Silence. silence is much better. I like hearing the noise of the waves as they crash onto the shore, or onto the rocks by the cliff. I enjoy the sounds of nature.

And then, movement from the opposite cliffs catches my eye. It's a _person. _Suddenly, I stand up. The weather's not _right _for cliff jumping, particularly not on the higher ledge. I am confused until I realised that the conditions are _perfect _for somebody committing suicide! It's happened before. The figure jumps. I close my eyes. I wince. I could have stopped them; werewolves are supposedly renowned for their speed. Now, here's another event that will add onto my long list of regrets.

On a whim, I enter the water. My strength comes to use now as I propel through the waves. I manage to find the figure and drag her back to the sandy shore. She's already dead, that much I know, but as I flip the body over, I let out a gasp.

It is Leah.

Leah _Clearwater. _

Her expression was content, in a half smile, even in death. She looks so beautiful. So peaceful. She looks free from all the turmoil that I had brought onto her life, with my unfortunate change of species. She looks at ease after several months of sadness and betrayal.

I sit down, laying Leah's lifeless body on the sand. I remember the times where we would cuddle here together, for hours and hours on end. Leah's life was perfect back then and so was mine – free from all guilt and remorse. To think that I had inflicted most of Leah's pain; it is like a piercing dagger straight to the heart.

My fault.

If only we can change the past. If only I could have one more chance to say sorry.

People said that Leah was a cold hearted bitch.

They were wrong.

No, she was just a broken hearted bitch.

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Thanks for reading! Review?

~livebyinsanity


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